The 21 Funniest Jokes That 9-Year-Olds Will Get
When your child turns nine, they’ll have a fairly good understanding of jokes. Since they can comprehend more things, you can tell slightly more complex jokes, and your child will still get it.
If you’re struggling to find jokes to tell your nine-year-old, then you came to the right place. Using this list, take turns telling jokes to each other. Let’s get started!
1. The Wikipedia Wisecrack
You: *Pretending to be a police officer* Hey you! You’re under arrest!
Them: What for?
You: For downloading all of Wikipedia!
Them: Wait–I can explain everything!
2. The Tongue-tied Teacher
A teacher stood in front of her class one day. She instructed the students to stand up if they thought they were dumb. After a few moments, no one stands. One child rises to his feet.
His teacher asks him, “Why do you think you’re dumb?” He shrugs and says, “I don’t. I just felt bad that you were the only one standing up.”
3. Ninja Nutrition
What do ninjas eat for lunch? Kung-Food!
4. Credit Card Comedy
How do you stop an ox from charging? You take all its credit cards.
5. Where Cows Go to Buy Things
Where do cows go to do all their online shopping? Amooozon!
6. Deceased Dinos
Why don’t T-Rexes clap at the end of a show? Because they’re extinct.
7. Tennis who?
You: Knock, knock.
Kid: Who’s there?
You: Tennis.
Kid: Tennis who?
You: Ten is five plus five.
8. Depressed Digits
Why was the math book depressed? It was full of problems.
9. Peanut Butter and Traffic Sandwich
You: I was driving to [work, the grocery store, etc.] yesterday, and of course, traffic was at a standstill on [Main Street, I-90, etc.]. While waiting for the other vehicles to move, the girl in the car next to me got out and started smearing peanut butter on the road.
I was so confused, so I rolled down the window and yelled, “What are you doing?!” She looked back at me and smiled. She yelled back, “Peanut butter goes great with traffic jam!”
10. Amusing Astronomy
Why didn’t the moon finish its dinner? Because it was full.
11. Tank who?
You: Knock, knock.
Kid: Who’s there?
You: Tank.
Kid: Tank who?
You: Oh, you’re welcome!
12. Penguin Pals
One day a police officer was doing his rounds when he saw a man drive past with a truck full of penguins. Startled, the police officer hopped in his car, flipped on his lights, and pulled the man over.
The police officer told the man, “You need to take these penguins to the zoo!” The man agreed, so the police officer let him go.
The following day, the police officer was doing his rounds when he saw the man again. He still had penguins in the back of his truck. Once again, the police officer hopped in his car, flipped on his lights, and pulled the man over. As he walked up to the man’s vehicle, he noticed that the penguins were wearing sunglasses.
Confused, the police officer asked the man, “Didn’t I tell you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?” The man responded, “I did, and today I’m taking them to the beach.”
13. Feathered Fowl
Which side of a Turkey has the most feathers? The outside!
14. Busted Booty
You: Is your butt broken?!
Kid: What? No?
You: Well, then why is there a crack in it?!
15. Powered Pansies
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? A power plant!
16. The Deserted Dude
While sailing on a cruise ship, the guests saw a deserted island in the distance. As they looked a little closer, they saw a man with a long scraggly beard wearing tattered clothing on the beach. The man was running around waving his arms and shouting something to the passengers.
The passengers asked the boat captain who the man was and why he yelled.
“No idea,” the captain shrugged. “He does this every time we pass him.”
17. Never Forget Me
You: [Insert son or daughter’s name], will you remember me in a year?
Them: Yes!
You: Will you remember me in a month?
Them: Yes.
You: Will you remember me in a few minutes?
Them: Of course.
Hug your child and walk away, wait a few minutes, and approach them again.
You: Knock, knock.
Them: Who’s there?
You: You already forgot me?!
18. Broken Boomerang
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back when you throw it? A stick.
19. A Salty Snail
One day, a woman heard a knock at her front door. When she opened the door, she didn’t see anyone. As she was about to close the door, she saw a snail sitting on the porch. “Ew!” she screamed as she grabbed the snail and threw it as far as possible.
About a year later, she was sitting at home and heard another knock on the door. She opened the door to see the same snail sitting on her porch.
“What the heck was that about?!” the snail shouted.
20. Toosh Tufts
Why do ducks grow tail feathers? To cover their butt-quacks!
21. Here Come the Elephants
The final joke we’ll share with you has three parts to it. Each portion of the joke will help build up your child’s laughter. You’ll probably chuckle when telling the joke too.
You: What is the difference between elephants and grapes? *Pause for your child’s response* No, grapes are purple.
You: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? *Pause for your child’s response* “Here come the elephants!”
You: What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming? *Pause for your child’s response” No, she said, “Here come the grapes!” Did I forget to mention that Jane is colorblind?