If you have ever been around a young child for longer than ten minutes, you know they will either tell you the newest joke they just heard or try and show you a magic trick. Generally, the jokes a 7-year-old will tell you will just make you roll your eyes and fake a laugh, which is why we have compiled a list of actually funny jokes that are appropriate for a 7-year-old to tell while actually producing a real laugh.
1. Get those milking buckets out
What happens when a cow refuses to be milked? Udder Chaos.
2. A meal made with love
A family was having dinner one night when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them.
Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn’t be discussed over the dinner table.
When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, “Well, I think worms must taste okay because there was one in your noodles.”
3. Don’t let PETA see this one
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him!
4. $50 is a lot of money
Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, “Ethel, you know that I’d love to go for a ride in that helicopter.” But Ethel would always reply, “I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”
This year when they went to the fair, Walter said to Ethel, “Ethel, you know I’m 87 years old now. If I don’t ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance.” Once again Ethel replied, “Walter, you know that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”
Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel.
This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple’s conversation and said, “Listen, folks, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won’t charge you! But if you say just one word, it’s 50 dollars.”
The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still, there wasn’t so much as one word said.
When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, “I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!”
Walter replied, “Well I almost said something when Ethel fell out but 50 dollars is 50 dollars!”
5. Might take ya a minute to get this one
Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? They woke him up.
6. Are potty jokes even funny anymore?
Smell mop who?
Ew, no thanks!
7. 3 Square Meals
What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
8. Say Goodbye to Frosty
What do you call an old snowman? Water.
9. She’s a trickster
Teacher: Class, we will only have half a day of school this morning!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
10. Electric Cars are all the rage nowadays
What has three letters and starts with gas? A car.
11. Leave that green gold be
Why did the nose not want to go to school? Because it was tired of getting picked on.
12. The child who talked too much
A young couple invited their old pastor over for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
‘Goat, ‘the little boy replied.
‘Goat?’ replied the startled man, ‘Are you sure about that?’
‘Yep’, said the boy. ‘I definitely heard Dad say to Mom, we might as well have the old goat for dinner today over any other day.’
13. Everybody likes Dad’s jokes
When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
14. No one likes a rotten apple
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.
15. Think harder not smarter
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger…and then it hit me.
16. Big dogs are better than small dogs
What kind of dog comes from the bathroom? Poodles.
17. Not for Vegetarians
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
18. A Simple Misunderstanding
A man was driving down the street when he was stopped by a policeman. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and asked, “Why are there penguins in your truck?”
The man said, “These are my penguins.”
“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same man driving up the street and waved him down. He saw that the penguins were still in the truck, but this time they were wearing sunglasses. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer said.
The man replied, “I did, and today I’m taking them to the beach!”
19. The devil is in the details
A boy saw an advertisement for fat-free french fries and decided to order some.
He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries out of the deep fryer, dripping with oil.
“Wait a minute, ” the boy said. “Those don’t look fat-free!”
“Sure they are!” the cook said. “We only charge for potatoes, the fat is free!”
20. No one nose why kids like potty jokes
How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogie in it.
21. Last but not least
What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed.